
I am alone on my porch, watching the sun rise above the mountaintops, the light illuminating the view in front of me in gradual increments. It is chilly, but I am enveloped by my favorite quilted coat and the double-layered polar fleece blanket that my daughters made for me one Christmas long ago.
Knowing that these mornings are fleeting. It will soon be too cold, even for morning porch-sitting in bundles.

But today, I do not mind the crisp bite that numbs my nose, the shrill chill that slows my fingers as I type, nor the sinking cold that is penetrating my body through the chair.

For it is fall. And my 45 years of living tell me that it must be seized. Capture it before it strays.

So I am here. On the porch. With my coffee. Petting my dog as he comes up for an occasional love. He's checking to make sure I am still around, saying "hello" in the process, a ritual we have been perfecting for many years.

Walkers pass in pairs. Joggers lumber in the cold. Cars speed with abandon. Bicyclists sweep by in packs. Trucks pull trailers with empty loads.
It is a busy morning in my town.

Children play in the yard next door, their voices ringing through the trees, and a twinge of yearning for my own long-since children pulls at me deep inside. Motherhood is the most rooted tether I know.

I sense the shadow of geese in flight overhead. They chatter in the distance. I wonder how much longer they will stay.

And still, the sun's rays creep ever higher, intensifying the current palette, promising warmth as its aperture widens.

A sheltered calm takes residence as I breathe in the clean, biting air. I inhale deeply, its terse rawness resonating deep inside my lungs.

My thoughts turn to Beccah, whose heart needs mending, having broken up with her boyfriend of 2 1/2 years.
To my devoted husband and the constant gift he is to my life.
To a friend who has become a paraplegic in the five years since we were last in touch. I did not know. I wish I had known. I am so sad.
To my father-in-law, recovering from yet another surgery. Missing him. And her. Still so devastated that they moved so far away.
To my father, long gone. Knowing how much he would appreciate this day.
To the hike we will take later this afternoon. To the other we will take tomorrow. Dropping everything--the laundry, the errands, the cleaning --to embrace this ephemeral season.
When the sun breaks through the trees, solidifying this moment:

Commanding my awareness

In the glow of this magnetic autumn morn.