I start growing mold sometime right around February.
By now I'm starting to disperse spores.
Winter's blanket, tight, wet, and heavy, envelops me in a sheath of rankish darkness as I squint in what light there is before 7 am, my breath a lonely ghost, humidified.
In spite of the dank stillness, my fingernails crack and split. I wonder will they ever be the same?
The mold settles in gradually, as it is wont to do, attaching itself to the folds in my neck, beneath my cuticles, behind my ears. It grows slowly as the days lengthen by the smallest of fractions, the sun a stranger in its frigid horizon. And through the sun's abandonment, the mold creeps ever closer, crawling inside, inching towards my brain--its pervasive grip, smothering.
It does not smell, this moldy crust, and I am grateful for that. But don't let that fool you. Its powers lie elsewhere.
As it feeds, it secretes anxiety and an unknown chemical that causes colors to dim. It initiates a general malaise that is followed by entropy which in turn causes more of the vitriolic fungi to multiply and strengthen its grip.
In it, a vicious, turbulent, downward cycle full of vinegar and venom.
Until today.
When I felt the endorphin rush of a good, energetic workout, the release in a good conversation with a close friend, and the implied warmth of a bright, dependable sun shining brilliantly in a robin's egg sky.
8 more days of February. 8 more days until the promise of spring and the hope that is sunlight.
8 more days until deliverance.
That is beautiful. Captures perfectly the essence of a dreary late-winter and the promise of coming spring. Thank you.
Posted by: Steve Trottier | February 20, 2009 at 04:50 PM
I know exactly what you mean. I am so sick of winter. Great descriptions, Catherine!
Posted by: Marilyn Moore | February 20, 2009 at 05:12 PM
My Dad used to say about the Jan.-Feb. part of Winter -
"As the days begin to lengthen,
Then the cold beings to strengthen"
Now the sun is up until a reasonable time in the evening and I'm really enjoying that. My favorite part of the day is the "blue time" also.
And Venus is SO BRIGHT in the evening sky right after sunset.
So enjoying this time, and looking forward to March and April.
Posted by: Karen Hill | February 20, 2009 at 07:38 PM
The mold is a pretty good description of how the winter sometimes drags us down, definitely more descriptive than the boring "blahs". Soon March will be knocking at our doors, or blowing them down. March, one of the most unpredictable months of the year, but the gateway to SPRING!!!!!!
Posted by: Barbara Spencer | February 21, 2009 at 11:04 AM