...a tired old broad listening to the TV drone on in the next room, my work-tired daughter chillaxing while the ceiling in the kitchen cracks as Mark works out on the elliptical upstairs.
...overwhelmed by my day and the launch and the extra fun that it adds to my world I'm pretty sure I turned a corner today in how I perceive my contribution and it feels really good I'm not going to lie.
...still sad thinking about my aunt and uncle still disbelieving that my cousin isn't in the world even though I didn't see her very often it is shocking that she's gone wondering how many more times I/we have to learn this lesson about the tenderness and fragility of life because it's pretty unbearable when they are called away so young. And what will her eight-year-old daughter do when she comes out of her coma of denial and how long will that take? It's every parents' nightmare to lose your child or to have your child lose you and it is being lived in that home every second of every day since a week ago right now that I'm writing.
...working out hard an hour a day yesterday I worked out between 60 and 70 percent of my heartrate for a full hour at the top level 15 and burned almost 1,000 calories I've never done that before and it feels really good I'm not going to lie one more time.
...thirsty my lips burning as they grow more chapped I really should get up and get a drink and slather Carmex all over them but I know I won't are you the same? you just work and work avoiding all those pesky distractions such as thirst (and especially hunger) even though they may make you uncomfortable you just endure and endure until you realize how late it's gotten and where did the time go and ohmygosh why didn't I just get up and get a drink? like the blogging, working, projecting, writing, concentrating is going to evaporate and you'll never get it back again? silly you'd probably be more productive if you'd just the freak get up and get that stupid drink.
...happy that Beccah called me back after my first unanswered try this evening always good to hear her cheerful voice which is pretty much allthetime cheerful that kid can be pretty dramatic such a chip off the ol' block but she's about as happy as they come.
...watching the clock it's almost 10 and I have a short story to read for Short Story Book Club tomorrow night I'd better get crackin' or it'll be another late night of getting to bed near midnight or so. Much too late for all the things that need to get accomplished tomorrow I know you understand what I'm talking about because we're all busy bees trying to get things done, checking the tasks off our lists, meeting the deadlines, preparing for tomorrow, let's just be sure that we enjoy what we can today.
...thinking of a way to wrap this all up wondering if I'm going to be able to find a photo don't want to break the cardinal rule of posting a blog without a photo (heaven forbid) but I agree it's a good rule but it's pretty late and I have no clue what I'd even search for at this point.
...tired so I'll say good-night and you can be the judge of whether or not I had the energy to post a photo or not I'm laying odds on no it's been one heckuvan exciting but exhausting day I'm surprised I've got this much in me and I still have a short story to read. Make sure to save this puppy I checked my blog this AM only to discover that the much better post that I had written last night did not get saved somehow so I had to start completely from scratch and couldn't remember all the good bits don't you just hate it when that happens?
...really saying goodnight this time thanks for stopping by I hope you're having a good morning by the time you're reading this, so good morning to you from Cath.
If there's one good thing about a loooong day, it's the sound sleep that often follows. Sweet dreams, Cath!
Posted by: Megan Hoeppner | November 13, 2008 at 01:09 AM
I don't usually take time to stop and read the actual story of blog posts. But, for some reason I read yours tonight. I am very sad for you and your family. Especially her little girl. Maybe because it hits close to home with me. My 4 children are all young, and I fear every night, before I go to sleep, that they may have to live without their mother some day. I'm healthy and not expecting anything. But the love for my children is so intense that these thoughts go through my mind constantly. So my thoughts and prayers are with your cousins daughter. I hope she can be able to grieve and cry and let her emotions free so she can move on to a life of her own.
Posted by: Lindsay S. | November 13, 2008 at 01:36 AM
Hi Cath,
Isn't it amazing how our lives are filled with the huge highs and desperate lows all at the same time. I am very sorry for the loss to your family and all that it means for the immediate family of your cousin. I am also very excited about your new blog...I have wanted to be courageous and smart enough (I think I probably am lacking on both of those!) to start a blog for a while and now you have two! I am not going to know where to look first. You, sister, are Moxie-Fab.
Kelly
Posted by: kellyv | November 13, 2008 at 10:44 AM
I'm sorry for the loss of your cousin, Cath.
I do blog posts without photos all the time - apparently I am blissfully unaware of the rules. :-p
Posted by: Stefanie Hamilton | November 14, 2008 at 09:46 PM