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September 08, 2008


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This is an insightful post. I disappointed my parents when I dropped out of college to get married. Other than feeling guilty that I dashed their hopes for me, I have never regretted my decision. Even though I don't have a degree, I HAVE continued to learn, and that's what I think is important. Choices are usually between good things, and everyone has to pass by some opportunities to take advantage of others.

There was such a pull inside me to please my parents, and also be true to what I wanted for myself. It would have been easier if I hadn't had to choose between them. Your daughter is lucky to know she has your trust and support whatever she decides to do.


You are such a good mom Cath. She will be fine....it takes some of us longer and down more paths than the rest to finally figure out how important education is. You are doing just what you should and that is encouraging her while being loving and supportive at the same time. My sweet dad approached things with me this very same way---not that I didn't want a degree....but, sometimes life became bigger than getting the education I needed. Anyway, at age ummmm....25, I finally received my diploma and everything he said all rang true---such a sense of accomplishment and the feeling the I could finally just breath a bit easier knowing that something so important had been achieved. It will happen for her.
sniff...sniff....miss ya :)


Thanks mom, I know it's hard for you, and I know you worry about me, but I really appreciate all this support you and Mark have given me in all my decisions. (ps, I love the pics you put up there, they just make me want to go to New Hampshire even more than I did before...) But Melis is right, you are a great mom! Love you!


PREPARE TO BE SURPRISED! What a wonderful way of putting it! What a wonderful burden of other people's dreams for you lifted off your shoulders so you can dream for yourself and make unexpected dreams for everyone, including yourself come true! I remember when I was Beccah's age like it was yesterday. It was a big year in my life. A music student in a competitive conservatory studying not one, but two instruments. the pressure, the love, the passion, the drive. A new love in my life, one who would not become my husband but would be with me for four years. The world is so big at that age, and it can get pretty small very fast. Take your time to keep it big for a while!! Drink it up!! I will now tell my daughter's this very thing. This was wonderful!


What a wonderful post about your daughter! She is lucky to have a mom such as you! It's difficult to know what you want to do at such a young age...I didn't know what I wanted to do either. I'm sure she will find the way to something she wants to do and will be successful in whatever that may be!

Miss Pat

Aw Cath. From Life to Literature. Again, I just love you. And Beccah and Nicole and Mark. And Scout for that matter! *sniff*

missing you...

Marilyn Moore

I so identify with your post about your daughter not wanting to continue with college at this point. I went through it, and it was also very hard for me for many of the same reasons you gave. My daughter never did finish college and doesn't seem motivated now to finish. She is a dear girl, and she is very sensitive and thoughtful. She has many qualities I admire, but one of them is not a drive to achieve like I and my other daughter have had.


I've always thought the most important thing parents can teach their kids is to honestly be who they are and to fearlessly follow that voice inside them that tells them what their unique path is. It's not always safe - sometimes it's down-right terrifying - but it's essential. Because in the end, it's the only way that they can live life to the fullest, pursue their dreams, and give the gift to the world that only they can give: their unique selves. Thanks for teaching your daughter that and for not standing in her way when she did it. As someone who had a hard time finding, let alone listening to, her own voice for a large part of her life, I honestly think more parents need to be like you.


Lots of great things to think about...I think "prepare to be surprised" is good advice for everyone - life is never predictable, is it? I guess that would be pretty boring. I give your daughter credit for having the courage to try a different path...and maybe when/if she does decide to go back, it will have a lot more meaning and she will get much more out of it. When I look back at college, sometimes I wish I could take some of those classes now...I remember choosing classes based on things like when they met (later in the a.m., the better), how many days a week (Fridays off were always a plus), or how many papers we had to write (the fewer, the better). That is what I chose at 18...I know if I had a bit more life under my belt, my choices would have been different. I know your daughter will have a great life and that you'll be there to support her wherever her path takes her.

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